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We are social beings and we desire to have romantic and intimate connections. We all just want to be loved but why is it so hard? You think your relationship is soooo different from everyone else’s but HONESTLY it is not.  Relationships take effort and WORK! Some days it is hard to even like your partner yet even feel like showing them LOVE. No matter how much in LOVE you are with them you still have TWO totally different personalities. If you can learn to live with your partner’s flaws and imperfections you may be on your way to a happy and prosperous relationship! Let me give you four quick reasons why we make LOVE so hard. 

 #1 LAZY LOVE 

We don’t try hard enough. We live in an instant gratification world where everything is comes fast, easy, and flashy. We lose touch with reality. We are looking for the next best thing to come along. We have simply started being lazy lovers. We think the grass is greener on the other side. I read an interesting quote that said, “relationships are like a house. When the lightbulb goes out you don’t go and buy another house, you fix the light bulb.” Would you abandon your car because the battery died? NO! You recharge the battery or get a new battery. Same with our relationships, you don’t give up on someone because of a tough situation. Why do we look at our partners as they are expendable? We take for granted that they will always be there and if not Oh, well!! We must understand when you have two people with two different personalities and emotions there will always be misunderstandings and wires will get crossed. Use those rough patches as launching pads to unite and grow collectively and individually. Great relationships last because two people care enough about each other to find a way to work together to make it work. #sameteam 

#2 Careless Love

Don’t take your partner for granted. If you have a partner that loves and cares about you, why not do everything you can to keep a smile on their face? We take each other for granted. We assume that they will always be there, so why should I go that extra mile? When we are dating we show off the very BEST version of ourselves. Then once in the relationship the dating representative leaves. WHY? We get comfortable or shall I say in our comfort zone. Nothing grows from comfort zones! We are all guilty of this to some degree. You have to speak up if you aren’t feeling loved and appreciated. If you aren’t going the extra mile it’s time you start. We all want to be fought for. We want to know you care and we want to know how you feel about us. That makes a WORLD of difference in a relationship when your partner feels the love and appreciation. Isn’t that the point of getting into relationships? Keep the sparks alive! Tell your spouse you love them. Show them that you care. Like Musiq (R&B singer) said, if you love someone you just don’t treat them bad! 

#3 Self Love

 

Relationships have a way of bringing things of the past that you thought you were healed from. When these issues surface you begin to push those close to you away. A lot of people tend to grow apart from their partner at this point in the relationship. What you won’t do is blame your partner for your issues!!! You need to deal with your unresolved trauma from the past- such as trust issues, failed relationships, childhood abuse, neglect, abandonment, and a host of other issues that will begin to bleed into your relationship. The solution to this is SIMPLE believe it or not. Deal with your ISH!! Heal your issues!! Seek therapy, pray, read scriptures, read self-help books, read blog articles ( like this great blog..wink..wink), or talk with a trusted friend. I suggest THERAPY first.  It is not your partners job to heal you from your traumatic experiences. Again, don’t project your issues onto your spouse or you will continue the same pattern in the next relationship. No one is going to deal with your traumatic experiences if you don’t first! 

#4 Distracted Love  

via GIPHY

We have WAYYY too many distractions in the world we live in today! Technology is at the top of the list. These distractions wreak havoc on our relationships! I’m guilty of this too and before you judge me look in the mirror. We have work (unhealthy relationship with  your job/career), TV shows, Netflix, phones, laptops, internet, porn, social media, etc. etc. etc.  These things snatch up our attention and before we know it hours have gone by. Our conversations have turned into texting instead of phone calls. We are spending less time with each other even while we are in the same room. One research study showed that the average couple dine together five nights a week but said they were on their phones during this time. Let your partner be your distraction. If your partner has to compete with the outside world for your attention think about the message you are relaying to them? Social media definitely has a way of painting pretty pictures and distracts us from our own realities. Sometimes you need a little distraction from time to time for entertainment. If the distractions are causing problems or your spouse is complaining then maybe you need to take a step back and assess yourself..

Relationships are definitely hard in and of themselves. We must be aware of how we are treating our partner, the person we vowed to love in the good and bad times through sickness and health til death do us part! Yep you said something like that at the altar! We lose focus sometimes and it’s ok but get back on track. If you see yourself in any of these 4 types of love listed, you are your only limit! Push tha LIMITS on LOVE!

Bottom LINE: Relationships are hard work but when the work is put in the love is UNSTOPPABLE!! 

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Thanks for reading!!! 

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