Do You Support?
Several years ago my husband lost his job. You know..you’ve been there. All the emotions surface- fear, stress, anger, and worry. You think what are we going to do going from two steady incomes to one? I was beginning to panic because of my selfish reasons and not even think about how I could be there for him or even what he was going through. Maybe your situation is your husband decides to switch careers? Maybe he has decided to quit his corporate job and start his own business? Or he has decided to go back to school? Maybe he has lost a loved one or a dear friend? He has had a bad day at work and vents to you? He hates his job but won’t do anything about it? He wants to start a new hobby that you don’t understand? He plays a sport and wants you to attend? Whatever the case may be, it’s hard to be supportive sometimes. I get it, you have your life, your own problems, your plate is full, and the list can go on an on. Did you know that being a supportive woman is an important quality to the average man?
Men Get Weak Too
You should support each other. Both women and men need support. Your spouse should never have to face any trial or tribulation without you being by their side. Being supportive means different things to different people, yes even to husband and wives. Ladies, we think it’s always us that need support because we are being everything to everyone but men need support too. They want us to be their confidant, to be strong when they are weak, and pick them up when they fall. Sometimes we forget they need these things because men are supposed to be strong all the time. The reality of it is, men get weak too. Remember the Monica song, For You I Will. (lyrics below)
When you're feeling lost in the night When you feel your world just ain't right Call on me, I will be waiting Count on me, I will be there Anytime the times get too tough Anytime your best ain't enough I'll be the one to make it better I'll be there to protect you, see you through I'll be there, and there is nothing, I won't do https://genius.com/Monica-for-you-i-will-lyrics
I can hear you singing along.. LOL! Yes I know you used to sing that to him when yall first got together, I know I did and still do sometimes. I love Monica! LOL!! Now when it’s time to put these words into action yeah…umm about that..we start to sing a different song!
A 2010 study series from University of Iowa suggests that being “supportive” has just as many interpretations as “love.” You have to ask questions and communicate. Ask how can you help- don’t assume! You already know what happens when you assume, right?
Here are a few ways that you can support him:
- Emotional Support is about lifting your spouse up so they can see their way through a difficult or trying time. Be that shoulder they can lean on without being judgemental. EVEN IF what they are going through is a result of a bad decision. Just be there to provide encouragement, hugs, kisses, and reassurance.
- Listen to what he is saying. I know sometimes it feels like we are speaking different languages but just LISSEN. Yes, I said LISSEN. Listen to understand their feelings and point of view NOT to respond. Don’t try to solve the problem just LISSEN. It’s easy to criticize. Just ask yourself the infamous marriage question, do I want to be right or happily married?
- Show that you have faith in him. The world beats him up enough. No need to get beaten up at home too. Home is where they should feel safe to be vulnerable. Pray for him. This shows that we believe in God’s power to bless him and give him exactly what he needs.
Remember you are on the same team when one lose you both lose. No one likes to be apart of the losing team all the time. There will be some loses but remember to turn those L’s into Lessons. Being supportive is attractive to the average man. Be there when he needs you!!
This is the last article of the three-part series WHAT MEN NEED. The series included the following articles What Men Need Pt. I- Respect and What Men Need Pt. II-Sex.
What’s next? You’ve guessed it!!! DING DING DING…..
What Women Need PT. I- Love/Affection