First I want to say writing this article was a struggle… It’s not that I didn’t know what to say it’s the fact that there is so much to say. Here is my stab at it… Enjoy!!

Let’s talk about sex baby!! I couldn’t get this Salt-n-Pepa song out of my head. I had to listen to it. The lyrics jumped out like never before, “But she was mad and sad and feelin’ bad. Thinkin’ about the things that she never had. No love, just sex, followed next with a check and a note.” Let me help you out. This shows that women typically desire an emotional connection before getting physical. Men desire physical connection before getting emotional. What am I saying? Men have testosterone, a lot of it, which DRIVES their sexual desires. This causes them to have erections out of nowhere. The wind can blow a certain way and BO-ING (hope you can hear my theatrics as you read) an erection! Yeah, maybe that’s a little melodramatic but you get the idea! LOL…

Men Crave Sex

Sex was the second most important thing men said they need from the survey we conducted. The first need was RESPECT.  Take a look at that article here.  Men crave sex like most women crave chocolate.  Why do they need sex? First reason already mentioned, TESTOSTERONE. Why do you think they have so much testosterone? It is because God created them that way. Sex is God’s idea. 1 Corinthians 7:3 says The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. Sex isn’t just meant for us to create life it is made for pleasure in marriage! According to John and Diana Magee, authors of What Every Man Wants in a Woman and What Every Woman Wants in a Man, sex should be just as natural as drinking water. They also used the analogy that when you buy a car,  a car payment is due. When you get married, sex is due.  The reason we make it so difficult is because we add our feelings. When God created Eve for Adam he said the two shall become one flesh, meaning sexual. That is how you become one, SEX.  Singing, “Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, Let’s talk about Sex.” Can’t get it the song out my head…

Hubby Says

Sex makes us feel wanted. I once heard a Pastor say that men think about sex every 4 seconds. Sex gives us energy. Sex is one of the ways we show love as married men. Being wanted by your wife is reassuring. Women want the emotional connection first, we view sex as both emotional and physical. Women want sex just as much as we do. Our language is just different. Women get caught up in the anticipation and everything that happens before sex. Men we just want it to happen. We don’t care how we arrive at the destination as long as we get there. Honestly, all men don’t think about sex the same way either!

Sex Equals Connection

Sex is one of the major ways men connect with their woman. Men don’t just have sex because it feels good (a huge part of it, I’m sure) but they want the connection as well.  Men don’t get on the phone and call their friends like women when they want to connect.  Men face many challenges and it’s important for women to understand their needs. The issue of sex is one that many women struggle with. Think about it ladies, we have needs too. We can’t continuously deny our husbands sexual desires and expect them to fulfill our needs. Our husband’s needs are just as important as our children’s needs. Children will grow up and leave but your husband will still be there. A sexless relationship causes a man to feel miserable. As women, we can’t continue to look at sex as a chore. Sex shows men that we make them a priority and it unites the two of you. Sex is a part of your bond as a couple. Sex is also healthy for you, it alleviates stress and reduces blood pressure. JUST SAYING!!  Singing  “Ladies, all the ladies, louder now, help me out.”  Make sure it’s at the top of your to-do list daily….well often…well, frequent…well you get the idea!!  

Stay tuned…Part III -Men Need Support coming soon!! 

Then I can’t wait to dive into What Women Need!!! 

As always, Holla at Cha Girl… Let me know your thoughts…

Fellas, did we leave anything out? Would you like to add anything? Ladies, your thoughts?? 

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Hagee, John and Diana Hagee. What Every Woman Wants in a Man/What Every Man Wants in a Woman. Charisma House, 2006.

Song Lyrics: https://genius.com/Salt-n-Pepa-lets-talk-about-sex-lyrics 

Comments (4)

  1. Jermaine Jernigan


    We just don’t want sex, we want good, passionate sex. They say the bed is undefined or something to that extent. That means trying new things. Boring, same ol, same ol is just like no sex. Spice it up, hang from the chandelier, showers, laundry room, etc. Lastly, men want a lady in public but a freak in the sheets..
    Nice article

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