In this article, we’re diving deep into the art of unlocking emotional connection which lays the foundation for a love that endures through time. As we get into this proven strategy, we will share a powerful and details approach that resonates with the soul of your marriage. Keeping with the spirit of fostering lasting love, we’re sharing a strategy to unlock the emotional disconnection that all couples experience time to time.
The Essence of Lasting Love
In the dance of love we are all searching for the rhythm for lasting connection to be heard, valued, and appreciated. As we unfold empathy as the essence to lasting love and also to sync our emotions with each other we must understand how it contributes to a solid emotional connection.
In our blog article, Unlock Your Heart, we took a deep dive into emotional connection where empathy was called out as the heartbeat of emotional connection. If we’re still thinking about it as a dance it’s definitely the leader.
Empathy is the heart beat behind your marriage thriving because it allows you to stay in sync with your spouse.
The strength of your relationship is determined by your ability to remain emotionally engaged, especially in times of trouble or uncertainty.
There are a number of benefits associated with having a secure relationship including:
- better management of emotions- being less reactive and feeling comfortable to seek support when needed
- better problem solving- doesn’t feel judged when handling uncertainty
- better communication- use empathy and share openly about their own needs
Research has shown that couples who feel secure in their relationship experience a more trusting and satisfying relationship. When couples don’t feel secure in their relationship, they tend to experience more distress and unhappiness.
Navigating the Complexity of Emotional Connection
The challenge happens in the hustle and grind of everyday life, we find ourselves facing unique challenges that impact our ability to show empathy and even feel connected.
Life’s demands, schedules, kids activities, financial stress, external pressures, individual stress, work frustrations, and so much more creates road blocks to our connection.
You know how it goes the moments of miscommunication where intentions are misunderstood, the hesitations to share vulnerabilities due to fear of being looked at as weak, soft, or needy.
You both lead busy lives, juggling work and family responsibilities and your own personal desires. It’s not from a lack of love but from a lack of unmet emotional needs.
If your spouse had a bad day, they are seeking empathy and connection, hoping to feel understood and supported. However, you are burdened with your own stress and unintentionally send the signal that your not interested in what they are saying.
The lack of emotional availability shown creates a barrier to connection, leaving one of you feeling unheard, and the other not knowingly contributing to the emotional distance.
The distance leaves your spouse with what you’ve delivered not what you intended to happen.
When your spouse feels your weren’t available they will likely feel:
- that their effort to connect with you emotionally won’t be successful so they eventually give up or stop talking to you about their challenges
- they will have negative thoughts about you and think they don’t matter to you
- they will turn to a back up strategy to express their negative emotions such as feeling unwanted, shutting down, demand attention by showing anger, yelling, blaming, etc.
The couples who are able to remain emotionally connected while working through conflict are the ones that often experience a long lasting love. Remaining emotionally connected doesn’t mean that you aren’t upset with each other. It means that although you’re upset, you aren’t risking your relationship because you don’t see every argument as a means to the end.
Once you begin to understand your spouse isn’t the enemy it’s hiding behind your real emotions- the fear, loneliness, sadness, etc. that is what gets triggered.
Then we will begin to handle each other with care, together.
Unlock Emotional Connection In Your Relationship With This Strategy
Relationship closeness is built when both of you are able to walk in your partner’s underlying emotional shoes, showing them, “I get it.”
To unlock emotional connection you have to find each other in new ways.
When you are arguing all the time you find yourself in a cycle of anger, frustration, jealousy, and other negative emotions that fuel the arguing in the first place.
The more you find new ways to move closer to each other the intimacy will increase and the negative cycle will decrease.
Let’s get into the strategy:
Tune into your spouse:
It’s not just about recognizing your spouse emotions but it’s about truly feeling them. It’s like stepping in their shoes, dancing to the rhythm of their joy and even embracing their sadness.
This is how empathy can transcend beyond any words you can say creating a connection that lasts through the challenges and life’s storms. Emotions are contagious, we can often feel in our bodies what our spouse is feeling as they talk if you put yourself in their shoes or use your feelings to feel what they are feeling.
Imagine your spouse comes home after a challenging day. Instead of immediately offering a solution or advice, you tune in with empathy and say, “I can sense that today was tough for you. I’m here for you. Do you want to talk it right now?”
When you’re tuned in you can offer support without judgment which allows them to express their emotions freely. The act of tuning into each other’s emotions elevates empathy from a passive state to an active state of engagement.
What this looks like in action:
- practice active listening
- put away any distractions
- look at your spouse
- immerse yourself in their world
- validate their feelings
- let them know you’re not only hearing but you understand.
Take the Next Step
Begin to see your relationship as a resource for security and support. See challenges as an opportunity to show your spouse that you care about them. To unlock emotional connection you’ve got to get on the same page on a deeper emotional level. Then an only then will you be able to solve problems as a team!
If this resonated with you and you’re ready to take a step toward unlocking emotional connection, take advantage of our FREE MINI WORKSHOP SERIES that begins Jan. 29th!