Does it ever feel like your spouse is on a different page than you are? Does it ever feel like your marriage is always in a state of chaos? Are you spending more time fighting than enjoying your marriage?
One thing I love to do is watch sports with my husband. He loves football and I love basketball. We have compromised and we watch each other’s sports. For years I disliked football but after sitting and watching it with him one day I discovered it wasn’t too bad. I love sports in general even though basketball is my favorite I love to see how teams work together for one common goal and that is to WIN!
Yes, I am the one screaming and yelling at the players through the TV. Yep, I do this at my kid’s sports activities too. I am THAT MOM! It’s just something about seeing people WIN when they’ve put in the work to reach their goals.
I know you are wondering so what does this have to do with what suddenly changed our marriage, I got you, I got you! It was teamwork! Yep, teamwork makes marriage WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK in my Rihanna voice!
In the picture above we had to work together to peddle this 5 person bike and let me tell you it felt just like marriage. One was peddling fast, one was peddling slow, one of us wasn’t peddling at all. What if husband and wife worked together like teams do to WIN? What if we could put our selfish desires away to see our marriage team win? There is nothing like watching a selfish player on a team hog the ball or make a selfish play. It’s nerve wrecking!!! We are sabotaging our own teams by doing this exact thing.
I hate to break it to you but BABBYY girl BABBBY boy marriage is about WE not ME! When I think back one of the MANY MANY setbacks we had during marriage was because one of us was being selfish and looking out for ME instead of WE! This is what leads to a dysfunctional team. We spent many years working against each other instead of with each other! More importantly this wasn’t the way God designed for us to be in marriage. You will continue experiencing DIVISION if you don’t get one VISION for your marriage.
After hitting our heads several times and almost ready to walk from our marriage we began to soul search within ourselves YEAH that ISH is tough! I began reading every marriage book, watching every sermon about marriage and reading reading reading. I didn’t just read spiritual books I read professional marriage articles to see what the research had to say.
After all my research I began to write a MAGIC formula of my own to help us WORK together! This HAS been a GAME CHANGER for our marriage, PERIODT!!!!!!!
I want to share that formula with you:
M- Make a Choice You have to make deposits into your spouses emotional bank account DAILY (no deposits no withdrawals).
A-Affection God created us all need and give love. Vital part of bonding and crucial to being a team. You must be connected emotionally.
Goals- This helps us fulfill our vows. Without goals you are merely just existing in your marriage. You need aim in marriage, where are you headed?
I-Integrity- Hold yourself accountable for your actions even when your spouse isn’t around. This protects the health of your marriage.
C- Celebrate- This provides unity in marriage. Don’t cancel your date nights they are not optional.
Celebrate the small things in life not just birthdays and holidays.
These 5 keys allow you to work together and become a united front in your marriage.
Teamwork really does make the DREAM work! The dream you have for a healthy and thriving marriage! It’s possible but you MUST DO THE WORK!
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