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Christian,  christian marriage,  couples,  relationships

The Appreciation Myth

Why should I show my spouse appreciation for something they should already be doing? Yeah, I feel ya! Don’t get it twisted we both are responsible for this house! You’re supposed to cut the grass. You’re suppose to cook. You’re suppose to clean around the house. You’re suppose to handle the maintenance on my car. I mean we know what our roles are so you don’t need me to thank you. Right?

Telling your spouse that you appreciate them is simple and uplifting. As humans we crave appreciation. This is a problem for many couples because of complacency especially when you’ve been together for a while. This also leads to other problems such as frustration, anger, resentment and arguments.

I can hear you saying why should I thank my spouse for something that they should already be doing? Why should I thank my spouse when I don’t feel appreciated either? Well.. I am so glad you asked!!!!

First let me say this is a problem in itself. A really BIG one. Stay with me and take a deep breath we going IN….

This is where the imbalance in relationships occur. We should treat our spouse the way we WANT to be treated not the way they are treating us or even what we think they deserve. Go back and read that last sentence again… I’ll wait! This also shows that we value the LITTLE things that they are doing. It matters and yes it’s important! What if GOD gave us what we deserved?? Come one now y’all don’t want to talk about GRACE do you??

The bottom line is if you begin to treat your spouse the way you desire for them to be they will either step up and become that person OR stay the same out of pure selfishness! That’s another conversation for another day..

Remember we’re focusing on YOUR actions not theirs right now though!!

Why do I always have to be the bigger person? I know I get it but you must be the change you want to see in your marriage instead of trying to change your spouse! First you must accept them for who they are. They will be more open to change if they know you accept them for who they are. When they feel they are constantly being criticized, they won’t be willing to change. Second, learn why they are the way they are. Be genuine and ask them, even if you think you know. Lastly, don’t attack their character. It is ok to voice a complaint or express your needs but focus on the behavior not the person.

Head back over to my IG page where we will continue this conversation for the rest of November.

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