Survey Results: HIS NEEDS VS HER NEEDS

Love Minus Limits conducted a survey comparing the needs of men and women in relationships. 60% of the surveys were completed by married men and women. The average years of marriage among those who completed the survey was 12 years. 40% of the surveys were completed by non-married men and women. Out of the 40%, some were in relationships and some not in relationships.

Men and Women are Different

We know that men and women both have different needs in relationships. Men and women are completely different species.  We need to appreciate each other’s differences and not expect our partners to act and think like us. The goal is not to think alike but to think together. John Grays says it best in his book, Men are from Mars and Women are From Venus, men are like rubber bands and women are like waves. Men need space to be in their feelings and then they spring back quickly. Women sometimes don’t understand that harshness of men. Women slowly sink into their negative feelings and takes a little while for them to express themselves before coming back to their normal selves. Men sometimes don’t understand this process.  We MUST recognize these differences and be equipped to deal with them in order to move past them and work as a TEAM.

Why Are Our Needs NOT getting Met? 

Clinical psychologist, Dr. Williard F. Harley, Jr., in his book His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage, says both men and women have needs but they seldom communicate those needs to their spouse or take the time to know the needs of each other. He goes even further to say, that the main reason needs aren’t often met  is not selfish unwillingness to be considerate, but true ignorance of each other’s needs. Why don’t we just ask? Why don’t we just tell each other? Sometimes both parties in the relationship go without having their needs met just because they don’t want to be emotionally naked with their partner. If you are planning to spend the rest of your life with this person then why is it hard to get emotionally naked with them?

Survey Results

Let’s get into the survey results.  Thanks to everyone who completed the survey!!!
The following questions were asked and here are the responses:

Question #1 Do men initiate sex more than women? 
24% strongly agree    44% agree    17% disagree     10% neutral    5% strongly disagree
Question #2 Public display of affection matters in relationships? 
37% agree   31% neutral    24% strongly agree    4% disagree   4% strongly disagree
Question #3 Learning each others love language is important?
62% strongly agree    27% agree   6% strongly disagree    5% neutral
Question #4 Are you happy with the affection your spouse shows?
31% disagree     17% were neutral     17% strongly agree    13% not applicable   11% agree 11% strongly disagree

If Ya Don’t Know Now YA Know 

Both Men and Women were questioned about their needs in relationships/marriage:
 

 
The Top 4 Needs Women Need in Relationships:

• Love/affection
• Intimacy
• Communication
• Trust/Honesty

 
The Top 4 Needs of Men in Relationships:

• Respect
• Sex
• Communication
• Support

 
The Top Struggles faced in relationships are:

• Financial/Money
• Communication
• Sex
• Infidelity
• Balance/Time Management

 
What does that say for relationships when the top needs and top struggles are almost identical?  That means we have work to do as couples. You want to know how I know there is work to be done? See chart below……

 
50% of the relationships of those who completed the survey NEEDS WORK. THAT’s HALF!!! 13.3% of those that completed the survey are barely making it in their relationship. 16.7% of those people are not in relationships, probably because they won’t settle for not having their needs met and yes I’m sure there are tons of other reasons too. LOL!!!! 20% of those surveyed are in healthy relationships. Relationships take work, even the healthy ones require maintenance. No relationship is perfect. No marriage is perfect.  For someone to feel as if their marriage needs work means their needs aren’t being met. So my friends this is why Love Minus Limits is on a MISSION to decrease this number to where marriage and relationships are healthy and in a maintenance stage. Marriage is vital to creating better and stronger communities. We need to strengthen the family unit.
 

Now that we know…

Look for an article in collaboration with my husband, Tony, as we talk about the needs of men and women.  We also want to interact with you LIVE after the article is published so stay tuned for something fun and exciting to come!!! Also, each struggle mentioned in the survey will be covered in a future LOVE MINUS LIMITS blog post.

The party is just getting started..

 
Are you shocked or surprised by any of these results?? Let us know..
As always Holla at Cha girl!!!
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