Hi! My name is Monique and I am living my best single life. Living without fear and learning to truly love myself. I often wondered what single life would be like in this new day and time. The last time I was single I was 19 and there was barely Internet. Now being single can be a little overwhelming if you focus on it too long. I have decided that I’m not going to dwell on it but rather bask in it. My new motto is “I’m just getting my Ruth on”. I’m sure you are wondering what I mean by this but to put it simply, I am not looking to jump in a relationship just to say I am in one.
I am living my life to better myself, heal from a broken toxic marriage, and raise my four beautiful children. Some of you may know Ruth from the Bible (read the whole book of Ruth) who was just gleaning in a field to survive and had no idea that someone was noticing her diligence. I noticed when I focus on the betterment of myself, oh the possibilities are endless. I decided to go back to school finish my degree I started years ago. I completed that degree and graduated cum laude from the University of Indianapolis. I was accepted into the masters program for Human Resource and I am currently studying for the LSAT to apply to Law school.
Parenting As A Single Mom
I am a full time mom to four awesome children. I have three boys and a girl; I call them the bigs and the little’s. The bigs are 12 and 11 and the little’s are 5 and 4. They bring the most joy to my life. We do just about everything from traveling, weekend outings, and family game nights. They are my means behind the madness. If mommy can do it then they can. I gave my very best when I decided to go back to school because; I wanted my children to see that no matter what life may throw at you if you put your mind to it you can do it.
Being a single parent can be a lot at times but I look at it like this; I get to mold these precious beings into beautiful, respectful, successful adults. One of my favorite things to do with my children is our family game night; we break out the board games and make homemade pizza, popcorn, and candy and just have pure fun. I am a bit competitive so I do not hold back on my children. They must learn how it feels to be beat by their mom. Funny, right?
As a single parent you have to set boundaries for yourself, your children and the people in your circle. I am very particular about what my children experience. During our school week we do not watch TV or play video games the focus is on school and family. Spending time eating together and actually talking to each other. Bedtime is at 8pm during the school week. This allows everyone to be well rested and this gives me my quiet time. I believe these boundaries are important as the eliminate unnecessary meltdowns and arguments. Have you ever tried to turnoff a device from a toddler? This can be very hard, but if you train them when and where they can have them you eliminate that melt down. I do not think I have all the answers but I do believe my approach is paying off with my children. It shows from their behavior to their schooling. Please feel free to join my blog for more parenting tips and fun to dos.
The Waiting Process
So you are wondering what should I do why I wait for love? I say focus on you and accomplishing everything possible. Grind so hard that your Boaz notices your works. Ruth was noticed because she was a hard worker. She did not allow her current circumstances to keep her from going for more in life. This paid off for her in the end. The bible states when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing. Well I am that good thing, and so are you, but it’s not our job to make him realize this. Our job is to trust God through this process and to allow him to send the right person into our lives.
One of the other things I like to do is fill myself up with positive vibes. I accomplish this by tuning in to different podcast or sermons through out my day. Instead of filling the day with gossip, social media, and basically anything unproductive, I follow a few really good pastors across our nation. Two of my favorites are Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church https://elevationchurch.org/sermons/ and Pastor Michael Todd of Transformation Church. Pastor Michael Todd recently did a sermon titled “ Don’t Settle For The Replica Wait On The Release”. https://youtu.be/Ia2nR4iZkXc
In this sermon he uses an analogy of a pair of Jordan’s that he has seen the reveal of the shoe, but has to wait some time for the release. Well in his waiting he grew inpatient and decided to purchase the replica of the shoe. The replica is cheaper and available but it does not have the quality the actual released shoe will have. He said, “The thing between the Reveal and the Release is Time”. Don’t settle for the replica because it’s cheaper and available wait on the release. The quality will be much better.
This hit so close to home for me. I was given a word that I would be married again but God would put the man in my life that he saw fit. So after my divorce I’m looking around like ok God where is he? I thought I was ready to move onto a new relationship but I soon realized I had so much work to do within myself. Yes, I could go hang out in a club, or allow any guy that inboxes me a chance. Instead I am choosing to wait on the release; I do not want a replica, I want the real deal.
Yes, is it going to cost a little more? Will I have to wait a little longer? Sure but I believe it will be well worth the wait. So I say to you, wait on the release don’t settle for the replica. In your waiting focus on your mental health, heal from your past, and save for your future. All these things will matter when you meet the person God has for you.
By focusing on your mental health you do not bring baggage from your past into your new relationship. This was very important as I dealt with my divorce. I had a therapist and a life coach. No, I’m not crazy, I was determined to heal and learn from past mistakes. It is paying off because I am beginning to see myself in a different light. This is an awesome feeling. I would have never started my blog; I sure would have never agreed to participate in this one. When we do not deal with our insecurities and pain we stunt our growth. The glow up can be real in your waiting season if you put in the work. If I could give you five steps to dating it would be 1) allow yourself to heal from the past. 2) Work on your glow up! 3) Set boundaries. 4) Be realistic with yourself as well as any potential mate. 5) Wait on the Release!
About the Author: Monique
Monique, a full-time mom to four awesome children. Three boys and a girl; which she calls them the bigs and the little’s. They bring the most joy to her life. She is also a lover of Christ, and all things fashion. She works for the University of Indianapolis where she is an alum as well as a current graduate student. Monique is the creator of www.poshmomindy.com a local blog focused on Christ, women, motherhood, family fun, and fashion. It focuses on her crazy world but gives insight on how she makes it look so easy. She is also very active in her church; she leads the hospitality team and serve on the first responder’s team. God has truly been the glue that has held her together through it all. She notes she could not have accomplished anything without Him. Whew that’s a lot right? This is just a small part of her life.