How did we ever live without social media? Before you could Tweet me, DM me, Inbox me, hit me up on Facebook, Instagram, or SnapChat. What were we even doing with our lives? I know ONE thing is that I AM SOOO glad it wasn’t around when I was teenager or even young adult. WHEEWWW!! Social media is a powerful tool whether you use it for positivity or negativity. Seems as if the negative posts or the “tea” gets shared before the positive posts. You probably found out about this article on a social media site. Let’s change that, join our VIP community simply click subscribe so it comes straight to your inbox. (Shameless plug 😁) While social media is a great tool to keep in contact with family, co-workers and friends, it can have some negative side effects when it comes to our relationships. It should not be used to replace real-life interactions. There has been plenty of research done that shows how social media can affect the quality of our relationships. Sit down and get comfy, let me pour you a cup of “tea” on social media and how it may be impacting your relationship and you don’t even know it.
If you grew up without social media you are thinking comparison game?? No, that’s crazy but some millenials think social media is thee gospel! Some of yall do too, don’t front!! If it ain’t posted it didnt happen. When you see that one wife or husband post about how great their spouse is and how they do this that and the other. You trying to tell me you don’t side eye your spouse or mate? Lies..Lies..Lies!! You aren’t thinking, why can’t I get you to do a portion of what he/she doing. Mmmm Hmmmm! I know you don’t have to tell me. You see that family post their Sunday church VIBES and your spouse like nah tell God I’m good. That one wife that loves to cook and pics look like a professional chef made it (yeah I hate her too) and you don’t get a little jealous? Ooooo I got you now that one couple who always post the best pics they so cute, your favorite #powercouple and it takes you 29 tries to post 1 halfway cute pic together or argue because you are accused of doing too much.. Mmm Hmmm!! I know I know! Don’t get virtual reality confused with actual reality!! That post on how great the husband or wife is could be the ONE and ONLY time their spouse says something great about them. You don’t know what goes on beyond the social media smoke screen. That wife that post her dinners could buy that food put it on a plate and have a nice camera. Never know she could have stole it off the internet somewhere. That family posting their Sunday pics could be arguing right before and right after. Every body is not who they “post” to be. Every post isn’t really what you think it is.
Phones, Laptops, Tablets, iPads…DOWN
I can admit I used to be the “bedtime serial scroller.” Reporting to my husband what I was seeing on FB or Instagram while we were laying in the bed. Laughing at silly memes, people telling all their business or the Fakebookers. One night he said to me would you put that phone down this is “our” time to connect. I thought huh this is what we do!! At first I said he tripping but then I realized hmmm maybe I need to make some adjustments. That made me reevaluate my use of social media. Dinner time at our house is a NO PHONE ZONE! If you bring it, don’t touch it. Same with date nights, we keep our phones out of sight to focus on each other, connect and spend quality time. How can you spend time with your spouse if you are on social media posting pics, and you know if someone comments you want to read it or see who liked it. Do people even take pictures for memories anymore or are they just social media post opportunities?
Are Boundaries Necessary?
Do you have boundaries specifically for social media? Is your spouse allowed to friend people they dated in the past? How about the inbox or the DM? If a friend of the opposite sex inbox them, nothing shady, do you feel some kind of way? Do you have to have their password? Do you feel its necessary? Are you ok with the amount of time they spend on social media? We have a few spoken boundaries BUT we also have a mutual respect for each other so we KNOW the limits. One time my husband crossed the line trying to be funny for my birthday or maybe it was our anniversary and called me his baby mama, side chick, ride or die blah blah blah.. I laughed because I knew he was being silly HOWEVER he did get the Bizness. “No sir I am not or will I ever be a side chick ever!” We know how to laugh and not take each other too serious but I had to make sure he understood that side chick was a NO NO. I can only imagine him laughing when he reads this. Have a conversation if you feel you need to set some boundaries.
Don’t Go TOO Far
Does your profile make it clear that you are in a committed relationship or marriage? Are you flirting with other people? Yes this is a big NO NO my friend. I dont care how harmless you THINK it is. It’s not OK. Get out of single people inbox! It shall NOT go down in the DM for anyone in a committed relationship or marriage. Have respect for yourself and your spouse. Airing the dirty laundry? I don’t care how mad they make you or what they do, putting it all on Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat shouldn’t be your first move. Use a journal to write your frustrations out, PRAY, and take time to calm down. Think before you act. Have some discernment. Would you be ok if they post the same thing about you? Would you be ok if they sliding in somebody DM or inbox? Protect your relationship from the social media pitfalls.
BOTTOM LINE: Everybody isn’t who they “post” to be! Know the difference between virtual reality and actual reality!
As always holla at cha girl!! Tell us in the comments what if and how social media is impacting your relationships.
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Thanks for reading!! Go forth and Love the Life you Live minus Limits!