What’s in it for me is the question that is often asked in relationships and it makes sense, right? When we get into relationships we want to be happy so this makes sense. After a while, the layers began to peel back and the REAL person shows up. They are no longer on their best behaviors, and the representative is gone! Often times we think the best way to fix problems in our marriage is to confront each other by nagging, blaming, demanding, and shaming each other. These are the unhealthy behaviors and patterns that we result in and think will fix the problem. We have to understand these unhealthy behaviors and patterns that we’ve become accustomed to gets us nowhere in our relationships.
In this article, we are going to discuss four warning signs that could be showing up in your relationship. You can’t just wait and hope they get better you ACTUALLY have to do something about them.
Let’s dig into the four warning signs:
Communication is important in relationships because it helps us say things the way our spouse needs to hear them.
Let’s use the word quiche for example. I know that quiche is eggs baked with ingredients of your choice. However, if I ask my husband if he wants quiche for dinner and he says no. I explain to him what it is and he says, why didn’t you just say that?
This proves why we have to say things the way our spouses need to hear them. If you have been with your spouse for some time, this should also happen while dating your spouse too, you begin to learn them and understand their communication style and language.
Communication does for relationships what breathing does for the human body, it makes survival possible. Love without communication is worthless. We broadcast through our words what is in our hearts.
Being a selfish person is one of the worst habits you can have in my opinion. I say that because being selfish means you think only about yourself and no one else. Your wants and wishes come before everyone else’s. Sometimes you can be selfish and not realize it. Being selfish causes communication issues, affects happiness, changes the temperature, and brings additional stress to your relationship.
It can cloud your thinking of your spouse and seeing them as selfish which will make you struggle to see them any other way. Your marriage will not be healthy and possibly not last if you continue to be this way.
“In order for your relationship to last you have to work out the problems instead of just ignoring them.”
We bring tons of expectations into our relationships and expect our spouses to comply or at least hope they will comply. Relationships start out backward because you begin thinking that this is my soul mate, this is the one I will be with for the rest of my life. Then once life happens, the struggles show up, the disappointments begin to surface, and all the excitement seems to be gone you begin to question your decision. Now you are left thinking this isn’t the person I married or did I marry the wrong person?
Once you realize you can’t change your spouse you will begin to throw out some of these unrealistic expectations. The key to throwing out your unrealistic expectations is acceptance. Check out this article, Things Won’t Change Until, which talks about focusing on Y-O-U worrying about Y-O-U!
When you feel you are more important than your spouse. When you feel insecure about yourself so you compensate for that by feeling inferior to others. When you begin to focus on their flaws instead of your noticing your own. Feeling that my way is the best way, no matter who is impacted. YOU MIGHT HAVE A CASE OF PRIDE! There is no room for your pride in relationships. It negatively impacts your relationship.
Check out the FB Lives regarding these four signs where we go more in-depth with tools and techniques you can use to overcome these warning signs. Click the corresponding link below to check them out.
Remember, if you aren’t enjoying your marriage you aren’t doing it right!
Until next time, keep pushing the limits on love!
Leave us a comment below with your thoughts on what other signs we should ignore.