One afternoon while having a conversation with my oldest son who is preparing for prom. He tells me the date he originally was going with he isn’t going with anymore. We had this same conversation about four times with him switching dates again and again. So I asked him how are these conversations going? Are you making solid plans and then breaking them or are you just having conversations? I’m not sure I received a real answer. I’m his mother but I am a woman first who knows how heartbreak feels. I said to him you better not be out here being a DAWG! He just looked at me, shook his head and said, “MOMS!” This sent me straight to my soap box with him.  Michelle Obama said, “We love our boys and we raise our girls,” “We raise them to be strong, and sometimes we take care not to hurt men. And I think we pay for that a little bit.” But that same strength we use to raise girls, Obama suggested, needs to be defined in a way that doesn’t aid misogyny, but upholds positive values when it comes to boys. “ I agree with all of what the marvelous Michelle Obama said.
Sometimes we assume our children know certain things but we have to be sure they know by telling them and having these conversations with them. Dads are responsible for teaching their sons how to be men however in some areas, mother knows best.  Mamas, we are the first woman in our sons life. We are responsible for teaching them about a girl’s heart. We must be great examples of what women should be so they will know what type of woman to marry or date. We want our sons to see how a lady should carry herself. We also want them to know how a woman should be treated.  When I first became a mom, I began praying for my children’s spouses because I heard a pastor say that you should do that.  I’m especially praying harder now that they (our boys) actively date or whatever they call it these days!  One of my goals as their mom is to make sure their future wife thanks me and they treat ladies like queens!  No one can tell them what a woman likes except a woman so why not it be me! The fact of the matter is that we can’t predict what the future holds or even if they will listen. What we can be sure of is that they are well informed and the seeds have been planted!
Lean in and let’s chat!  These lessons are in no particular order and not exhaustive by any means. There are sooooo many more lessons but for time’s sake.. Maybe a Part II…Hmmmm!
Lesson #1 Education & Faith- Two important aspects in life that you own. No one can take away your knowledge. No one can take away your belief. We have raised our children in the Christian faith.  We have also taught our children to value their education and not depend on teachers to teach them everything. Life is a tough teacher, the test are given first then the lesson. Be a student of life. Pass those test!
Lesson #2  Be a “GENTLE”-man- Chivalry is not dead! We need to teach our young men to look out for ladies. Step back and let her through the door first. Carry heavy items for her. If a woman is standing and you are sitting offer her your seat.  You may think this is simple but I’ve seen some RUDE men, sickening!  Be considerate always! That means with her feelings as well. Women can be emotional but you have to be there and support her!
Lesson #3  Respect a Woman’s Body- No Means No!!!! One thing I have always told them about respecting a woman is that if you don’t want it done to your mom or your sister then don’t do it. Every girl they come in contact with is someone’s sister or daughter, etc and should be treated as such. Women’s bodies are not objects. They were not created for men’s disposal. Don’t touch a woman unless you are in a committed relationship with her and it’s consensual. These days you may want to get it in writing or on video. Just saying!
Lesson #4 Be a Provider -Not a Sponsor- When it becomes that time and you find a woman you want to marry. Provide but make sure you marry someone that is equally yoked all around. Make sure she is  bringing something to the table besides a fork. Make sure you find someone that you can build a future with. Make sure they are a go getter with personal goals and plans that doesn’t mean depending on you 100% unless you decide your wife will be a stay home mom! Make sure she is GOAL digger not a GOLD digger. Build together and own your own! Don’t wait for anyone to hand you anything! You have to GO GET IT!
8 Valuable lessons Mamas we must teach our sons
Lesson #5  Sex Carries Responsibility – We can tell our children to practice abstinence all day but we also have to tell the truth about sex too. Sex comes with much more than meets the eye. The first thing that comes to mind is a soul tie. Soul ties are REAL.  Then there is STD’s, sexual transmitted diseases. You don’t want to catch something you can’t get rid of. Next is pregnancy, it can happen!! If you aren’t prepared to be a father then #1 wear protection or #2 don’t have sex. If you can’t see yourself having a child with her then don’t waste your time. It can happen! Find your wife first, then have children! Some women are crazy and will use your child as bait!   Not judging anyone at all here just speaking facts!
Lesson #6 Three Powerful Words- Don’t play with these three words. I LOVE YOU! You can’t play with a woman’s emotions with these three words. If you don’t mean it THEN don’t say it! That is how songs like I Bust the Windows Out Your Car come about. Just saying!  Mean what you say and say what you mean. Don’t be pressured to say it. Don’t rush into relationships. Love is a dangerous game if you aren’t ready for it don’t play the game! 
Lesson #7  Have Self Control- Never hit a woman. I know that some women can be provoking, however if you feel you need to hit her then it’s time for you to leave IMMEDIATELY. Our sons need to know this is NEVER ok. Men who hit woman are cowards. Physical and emotional abuse in a relationship are not healthy and that means you should not be in that relationship, no matter what! If you are the problem, seek therapy!
Lesson #8  Be Confident- Your confidence comes in who you are your morals and values NOT what you have, drive or wear. A woman should be impressed with you and not material things.  If she is more interested in what you have than who you are that is not the woman for you. You should not have to lie about who you are, where you work, live, how much money you have or what you drive to impress her. You need to be confident in your ability to be with someone who is authentic and not superficial.
Bottom Line: We can’t assume our sons know how to treat a lady we MUST teach them!
Mama knows best doesn’t mean that mama knows it all. Talk to your son and find out what they already know! Let them express themselves so you can get a better understanding of their feelings. My life motto for my children is that you are free to choose your actions but not free of the consequence that follows.
As always, holla at cha girl!!! Leave a comment, want to know what you think!
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Comments (2)

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