Most couples get married believing the myths that marriage is a box full of all the things they’ve longed for such as companionship, intimacy, friendship, happiness, closeness, etc.
The truth is that marriage is an empty box waiting for you to fill it up. Your marriage toolbox is like a bank account, you have to put something in it in order to withdraw something. Marriage doesn’t automatically equal love. Love comes from people and people put love into the marriage.
The marriage box stays empty unless you continuously fill it up with intimacy, romance, giving, gratitude, intention, kindness, and so many other things. This month on my social media pages Instagram and FaceBook I’ve spent the entire month pouring out things that you can fill your marriage toolbox with and some to throw out of the marriage box.
Here are the top 5 Tools we use EVERY SINGLE DAY to strengthen our marriage and keep our screws tight:
Communication – Communication for us is like oxygen for your bodies. It makes survival possible. If we don’t communicate our marriage is doomed to fail and it’s worthless. We work on communication often to say things the way each other needs to hear them.
Perspective – We try to see things from each other’s perspective. I can’t assume he is wrong if I don’t see it his way and vice versa. We value each other’s opinion! A way to put things in perspective is to not complain about the thorns on the rose bush but appreciate the thorn bush for having pretty roses. We have to change the lens we’re looking out of to see each other’s perspective.
Repair -When something is wrong we don’t ignore it. We work to fix it. An old wise man told us that their marriage lasted 4 decades because they believed in fixing things when they went wrong not throwing in the towel. We agreed to see things this way. Fix the issues, life is too short for us to walk around mad at each other when it can be fixed.
Teamwork– We’ve adapted a winning marriage mindset. That means that we play to win instead of playing to not lose. Playing to win means you go all the way IN it to WIN It! You’re so focused on how you’re going to Win that losing never occurs to you as an option. Playing to not lose means you’re worried about what the other person is doing so you only play defense no offense. We don’t always get it right but when we don’t, we turn all our L’s into Lessons!
Emotional Bank Account– We can’t withdraw what we haven’t deposited. This is the heart and soul of our marriage. We make deposits each and every day using the small moments to do nice things for each other. Putting each other’s needs before our own sometimes. Helping out and anticipating needs before they even arise. This may seem small but it makes a BIG difference.
Leave a comment and let me know if you have these things in your toolbox!