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4 Common Reasons Couples Choose Divorce After Decades Of Marriage

Last week the news of the Curry’s took the world by storm and me too because if you don’t know anything about me, just know I love the whole entire Curry family!! Yes, I’m a Golden State Warrior fan but I also root for my bro Seth too. Let me focus! So what was the news? 

Dale and Sonya Curry (parents of the Curry Clan NBA stars Steph & Seth Curry and Sydel their daughter who is married to an NBA star) are getting divorced after 33 years of marriage. People were outraged and wondering how you can be married for that amount of time and divorce. So much so that a thread on Twitter  was quite hilarious was created by @solomonmissouri to warn against entering the single life. Don’t get me wrong singles, there is nothing wrong with being single. Better to be single than married to the wrong person. 

 

So why do couples divorce after spending decades together? 

This has so many of us baffled every time we hear about a couple who has been married 20, 30, 40 years. We have deemed them as “goals” or “making it” in their marriage in our minds and are SHOOK when they divorce. I don’t agree with couples staying together just because they’ve been together for a while. If you can’t figure out a way to make your relationship work for both of you then sometimes you have to call it quits. No, I’m not a fan of divorce but I’m not a fan of insanity either. 

When we hear the news, the questions happen next… Who was cheating? How can this be, when they look so happy together? What happened? Is it over money? 

Even though it’s none of our business we still wonder what the reason is that a couple is getting a divorce. Were there warning signs that this was coming for them? Did one thing just happen and it ended? 

The truth of the matter is it could be either way. Sometimes you can see the signs and ignore them and sometimes a situation happens and things can’t be reconciled. Again, whose business is it anyway besides that couple?

What is the leading cause of divorce for couples and why are marriages failing? 

If you’re STILL married, please read on to discover the reasons that we have researched to find out why couples are deciding to go their separate ways. (hint hint…don’t do these)

Poor Communication– communication is more than just talking. It is about being heard and seeing things from your spouse’s point of view. We must say things the way our spouse needs to hear them. A common mistake we make is listening to respond instead of listening to understand. Poor communication creates distance. Misunderstanding is the largest distance between two people in a relationship. When that distance is created it becomes one of the most common reasons couples divorce. 

 

Infidelity- 20-30% of marriages end in divorce because of a spouse that cheated. There were speculations in the Curry divorce of cheating and it just breaks my heart. However, Beyonce and Jay-Z showed us that no matter how fine you are, what your income or celebrity status is… it can happen to you! The Carters also showed us that reconciliation can happen. For others, it is harder to overcome which leads to divorce. This betrayal of trust isn’t easy to get over. 

Imbalance– This can happen in many areas of your marriage. You can grow apart, you could be a workaholic, becoming new parents, completing a college degree, working a demanding job, hanging out with friends, be too involved in outside activities, etc. This is why couples have to set boundaries and make connecting with each other a part of their DAILY routine. Spending time together is key but make sure it’s QUALITY time. 

Unrealistic Expectations -Many people get married for all the WRONG reasons. Many people get married for all the RIGHT reasons. Regardless of your reason, make sure you have realistic expectations for your spouse. If your spouse was a messy person before you married them don’t expect them to become a neat freak because you are after marriage. If your spouse liked to spend money and shop a lot before you got married don’t think marriage will change that. You can’t change him or her. Marriage takes work but more importantly, it takes you to do the work on yourself too! 

 

The Bottom Line…

Couples divorce every day but it’s something about the long-term marriages that sting just a little bit. This is why it’s important to consistently do the work in your marriage to break unhealthy habits and patterns. Grab your FREE interactive eBook that has the entire list of 10 Marriage Killers. This article highlighted 4/10 for you. Click here to get your FREE interactive eBook for the other 6.

Tell us in the comments below what other reasons do couples divorce?

Follow us on Facebook and Instagram @loveminuslimitsllc to stay social with us, we love to interact with you there too! 

Until next time, keep pushing the limits on love, and remember if you aren’t enjoying your marriage YOU aren’t DOING it right!

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