3 Things You Can Actually Do Today To Have An Awesome Marriage
We have 3 suggestions for you to keep in mind that will help you and your spouse manage conflicts by nurturing your relationship, managing finances to avoid financial issues and deal with difficult family dynamics so you can stick together through better and worse.
1. Nurture Your Relationship
Maintain realistic expectations. Getting married doesn’t automatically make you happy, but it can add to your contentment in life. Expect to run into some conflicts and hard times. You won’t always agree on everything, but you can make a commitment to deal with your conflicts constructively.
Focus on the good qualities that your spouse possesses. Your spouse will have habits that annoy you, but happy couples focus on the things they like about each other. Learn to overlook minor irritations, like leaving the cap off the toothpaste, and pay attention to qualities that matter more, like integrity and kindness.
Express your appreciation for your spouse. Be generous and specific about praising your spouse. For example, let your spouse know if they made a busy week less stressful by volunteering to do something that lightened your load.
Show your affection. Keep connected through frequent gestures of affection. Greet each other with a kiss or a hug even if you get home from work in a bad mood. Remember marriage experts, like Dr. Gottman, believe that you should kiss for at least 6 seconds a day!
Be supportive. Feeling validated and supported is one of the most important benefits of marriage for many people. You can’t always solve each other’s problems, but you can be a good listener and reassure your spouse that you care.
Address conflicts constructively. Practice patience with one another. Look for constructive solutions together. Find ways to defuse your anger so that it doesn’t sabotage your relationship.
Maintain your own identity. Enjoy your unity, but still be your own person. Maintaining your own friends and interests will help you feel more interesting and actually make your marriage stronger.
2. Manage Your Finances
Find your comfort level with merging your finances. Joint accounts make sense for most couples, but find the arrangement that suits you best. You may want to share your primary accounts and keep some funds separate to spend on your own or aka your fun money.
Keep your debt under control. Debt can be an emotional and financial burden. Try to live within your means. If your partner has substantial pre-existing debts, you may want to make a formal plan or even sign a prenuptial agreement.
Stick to a budget. Approach major decisions about spending, saving, and investing together. You’ll probably have different priorities, but be respectful of each other’s preferences for expensive electronics or weekly manicures.
3. Deal With Family Issues
Share the responsibility for parenting and housework. In the end, pitching in with the household chores will bring you closer together than the occasional candlelight dinner. Both partners have a contribution to make when it comes to children and housekeeping.
Agree on your expectations and discipline for your children. Children learn very quickly the game of divide and conquer. You and your children will be better off if both parents provide consistent guidance. You can always make exceptions when needed, but for the most part work together as a team.
Work at getting along with your in-laws. Put your long-term harmony above relatively petty disputes. If there is a serious matter with your spouse parents that affects your children’s welfare or your own peace of mind, it’s usually most effective for your spouse to approach them directly.
Making your marriage last can enrich your life with intimacy, companionship, and opportunities for personal growth. A happy marriage adds so much to the quality of your life, and makes all the time and effort you invest worthwhile.
Saying you want your marriage to last and actually doing something about it is two different things! We can dream all day but that does nothing without action! If you really want to have an awesome marriage and you are looking for practical ways to do that we can help you. Check out another blog post that was written earlier this year, 5 Tools We Use Daily to Strengthen our Marriage.
Which of these three categories do you think you can begin working on right away?
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